In my quest to make the world a more beautiful place, I've been thinking big, but starting small. The first step has been to get rid of the clutter in my house. By that I mean , those things that are not useful, meaningful or enjoyable for me to look at. My daughter, who is six, has her own clutter .....or is it actually my clutter? Here's what I mean.
- the baby swing, bouncy seat, highchair, car seat, training potty , baby toys and clothes, all arranged for the childcare facility my daughter was running in the basement for her dolls. (I did so love those blissful infant years. But isn't the present pretty great too?)
- the hot pink and extremely loud cash register on the living room shelf that we bought. (Is my distaste for hot pink toys enough to get rid of this? Oh. That's right. My daughter never plays with it.)
- the growing stacks of my daughter's creations. ( As an artist mom, how can I get rid of her art? But if I can't create without space, how can she? And though I want her to feel good about herself, do I really want her to believe that every thing she does is special?)
- the army of stuffed animals, many from loving friends and family. (Don't these items represent special bonds?..... or are they more like sprinkles? The time together - the conversations. Aren't these what makes relationships?)
- the swarms of what I call “little nothings” - those pieces of free plastic junk that people give children before they leave their sight. (They have no meaning. I think they've seized the opportunity to thrive where they can).
Step One– DECIDE WHAT I WANT FOR MY CHILD.
- A World With a View – I want my daughter to live in a space that looks and feels good.
- Space For Her Inner World – I want her to have spaces and items that foster imaginative play, creativity and focus. I also want her to be able to get messy and cut loose. Stuff is not essential for this, the outdoors is.
- A Happy Home – I want her to have happy parents, which I'm not if I'm nagging, moving, putting away and looking for her stuff. If I'm doing these things, my daughter has too much stuff to manage.
- Clarity on What Matters and What Doesn’t– I want her to know the difference between stuff and items that are useful, special or beautiful to her. I want her to know that there is very little we truly need.
- An Appreciation of Nature – I want her to appreciate and respect nature, and learn to be thoughtful about the environment and our impact on it.
Step Two – GET MY CHILD ON BOARD.
I wish I could say, I gracefully got my daughter on board with my mission. I didn’t. There were a few days early on, in which I was more determined than patient. But the more I cleared my own spaces and called upon that wise, compassionate, yet firm inner voice (for me Mary Poppins, Maria Von Trapp, - okay Julie Andrews in any form will work), the more I realized that these changes would come with time.
- Small Steps - Great things take time, even for wise little people.
- Flexibility – Perfection does not make happy and healthy people. Nor does it make a worthwhile dream, or anything else that matters.
- Understanding and Compassion – There are some things that will have meaning for my daughter that I won’t understand especially if I don’t ask and stay open to her point of view.
- Explanation – When making changes that impact others, it helps to say why you think it's important. Chances are, they'll get it.
- Make it fun.
The next post, Part II and will include:
Step Four – GET STARTED - practical strategies I've found useful.
Step Five – REAPING THE BENEFITS - the unforeseen gifts of removing clutter.