Written by Courtney Snyder
Lately I’ve seen a growing number of five inch heels walking around town. I’d say, a “growing number of women…,” but I don’t see them, I just see enormous shoes that serve to lengthen legs beyond that which is possible, except in a "virtual" world.
They first caught my attention when I was visiting a shoe department where overnight, someone replaced the women's pumps with skyscraper heels. “Who is buying these,” I resisted asking the salesperson, for fear she might answer.
Then last week at the gym, “America Live" was on. If I had TV these past two years, I might not have wondered: “When did news anchors start wearing five inch heels….and false eyelashes,” and “When did news directors start shooting the anchor from behind…for the audience to see her ‘behind’ in a tight skirt?” My anthropological inquires were quickly interrupted by visions of Rupert Murdock and friends sitting around a conference table asking, “How else can we distract or arouse viewers to a point in which critical thinking is completely lost?”
Two days later, I saw the same footwear on teenage girls at an event for families. I wasn't sure if I should laugh or cry. But then I told myself, “There are other perspectives you have to consider. ...If you were an orthopedic surgeon, for example, you might be giddy about an early retirement.... if you were a stripper, you might be annoyed that one of your props will quickly lose influence. ...If you were a teenager, however, and these shoes filled the stores, everyone was wearing them including news anchors, your parents didn't stop you (because “everyone was wearing them”) and you didn’t have the historical frame of reference – that just yesterday, many people called these "hooker shoes," ...then you might just think… ‘They’re totally awesome!’”
But then I remembered - I’m not a teenager, an orthopedic surgeon or a stripper; I’m the mother of a six year old girl - one who is taking in these same views of women and teenage girls hobbling along in public while their male peers move about with comfort and ease. To avoid the abyss of despair – the one I near whenever I think about my daughter growing up in a mass media culture that sexualizes women and the youngest of girls – I went to my closet; tape measure in hand and measured my heels, the one's my daughter loves to try on. That they maxed out at 2 inches provided me little comfort.
Still disturbed, the next day I went ahead and jumped into that abyss of despair by clicking a Facebook link - one that had caught my fear seeking eye: “The Bro Code," a new documentary which depicts how our culture conditions boys and men to dehumanize and disrespect women. "Pornography," they explain, “has become sex education for guys, mainly because they get a taste of it at a very early age.”
“That explains it! Porn is now driving the fashion industry.” To that thought, I added my knowledge of the marketing industry’s use of “age compression." Visions this time appeared of marketers and child psychologists sitting around their conference table discussing how to capitalize on the reality that young girls want to be like older girls, who want to be like teenagers, who want to emulate the latest fashion trends which I’ve proven (through rigorous scientific method) are inspired by....porn.
Despite my obvious gloom, I have no hard feelings towards women and girls who wear these shoes – I don't even want them to fall over. Nor am I hostile towards men and boys whose ideas about women and relationships are influenced by media. In fact, I would expect many people to think that five inch heels are a good idea. My hostility is toward the increasingly sophisticated and profit driven forces that are shaping all of us and that I feel up against as a parent.
As it’s unlikely I’ll soon become Czar or that I’ll move to another planet or even country, I’m left with having to listen to what these shoes are telling me. I think they're saying, “Hey Lady –
- It’s not too early to teach your child to be a critical thinker without teaching her to be critical of people.
- Encourage her to listen to herself and question the status quo and authority.
- It’s not too early to start communicating about media, marketing, culture and relationships in ways that are age appropriate and can be built upon over time.
- Keep fostering her interests and keep teaching her that she’s capable.
- Stay connected to those families and friends who share your values of childhood, adulthood and relationships.
- Oh.. and one more thing.... Don't forget to show her that life is not to be feared, but to be lived.”