I'm not a party animal. That's because parties tend to involve chatting with people - a number of them, sometimes more than one at a time and usually for an eternity. My background in psychiatry has helped, not because it allows me to analyze my social discomfort into oblivion (which it does) but because it invites certain others to launch into the intimate details of their lives. The relief of not having to lead the conversation keeps me from thinking, “Do they realize? Even when I was practicing, I would never do therapy in a room full of people, holding a glass of red wine….and not charge."
There have been social occasions when less revealing others have brought up the "Myers-Briggs (psychological) Type Indicator," a questionnaire and measure that helps people understand how they tend to make choices and view the world. For me this topic fell into the realm of career counseling - not into the realm of the loftier and sophisticated-er psychological theories I preferred to drown in.
Outlooks:
Introvert (I) - Get energy from the inside world; tend to get energy from thinking and reflecting; reserved.
Extrovert (E) - Get energy from the outside world; like to spend their time with other people.
My understanding and respect changed however, a year ago, when I serendipitously crossed paths with a lovely and wise woman with a background in career counseling. At my request, she agreed to meet. I told her I was struggling with turning my new found art and design abilities into a career. And though I was following my bliss, I was beginning to notice that my bliss had little interest in the details of such things as money.
Information Gathering:
I(N)tuitive (N) - Prefer to see the big picture than to find out facts, tend to be more abstract, solve problems by moving between different ideas and possibilities; interested in doing things that are new and different.
Sensing (S) - Start with facts to form the bigger picture; tend to be move concrete; look to the bottom line.
She asked if, with my artistic abilities, I’d considered looking at jobs in marketing. I explained my uneasiness with the field, specifically marketing to children, but that I had considered licensing my images to large companies for cards, wall art, sheets, wrapping paper, etc. I did not, however, share my initial reaction to licensing which was “Ch-ching!" Nor did I explain how that reaction was quickly replaced by images of exploited workers exposed to carcinogenic dyes while putting my images on unnecessary items that were destined for landfills from which they would contaminate ground water and release toxic gases, thereby killing not only the environment, but unsuspecting animals and humans. Had I explained this concern, it would have made clear why the image of me as a “starving artist” was more than acceptable. The inconvenient truth, however is that my choices are not all about me. I have a family who might see things differently.... especially when they're hungry.
Decision Making:
Feeling (F) - More likely to think of the effect that a decision may have on other people; tend to try to gain agreement with everyone involved; concerned with values, people and communication oriented
Thinking (T) Tend to make decisions alone, like to analyze pros and cons, and then be consistent and logical in deciding; may enjoy technical and scientific fields.
Out of her office I go with a Myers Briggs questionnaire, which if completed would tell me if I was an ISTJ, ISFJ, INFJ, INTJ, ISTP, ISF, INFP, INTP, EXTP, ESFP,ENFP,ENTP,ESTJ,ESFJ,ENFJ or an ENTJ. After letting it sit on my desk for three weeks and during one of my, "What the hell am I doing with my life?” moments (which mysteriously coincide with the 20th day of my cycle; lunar cycle that is), I filled it out.
“You know yourself well. Your profile is consistent with an INFP,” she said before elaborating and handing me a piece of paper - one that mattered as much as the Chinese place mat that once told me I was born in the Year of the Goat and gladly not the Year of the Boar or the Year of the Cock (now politically corrected to the Year of the Rooster).
Next she handed me a list of the fifty careers most often selected by the INFP. #1 fine artist, #2 physician- psychiatrist. Writer fell close behind. It was in that singular moment that the Myer-Briggs started to matter and my seemingly unrelated dots started to connect.
“Do you ever write?” my now guru asked. “I love to write…but I have no time for it,” I responded, while imagining myself not just starving, but chain smoking and consuming large amounts of alcohol. “You may want to try to work it in," she added. My other career ventures weren't sticking and I was keeping my options open, so I thought, "Why not?"
Orientation to the Outer World:
Perceiving (P) - Prefer to stay open and respond to whatever happens; prefer flexibility and spontaneity.
Judging (J) - Tend to be decisive, appear to be task oriented, like to get things done before a deadline.
That evening I read more about my INFP- ness: “Verbally awkward, uncomfortable” WHAT??!! Okay …that would be me. "Prefers to communicate through the written word." Hmmmmm. “Requires substantial time alone to ponder and process new information.” That's me…. “Best in situations where they're working towards the public good and in which they don't need to use hard logic.” Sounds like those weirdos who think their blog can change the world.
Aside from providing me with more to think about (alone in my studio), the Myers-Briggs has increased my understanding of my preferences, choices and blind spots. Its even come in handy at cocktail parties where I'll now occasionally take a stab at Extroversion:
ME: “Hi, I’m an INFP - psychiatrist, artist, writer type who'd make a terrible manager, salesperson, telemarketer... Do you know who the famous INFP's are? Think - Shakespeare, George Orwell, Kierkegaard, Virgina Woolf, Audrey Hepburn, Woody Allen... Not bad, eh?? How 'bout you?
THE VICTIM OF MY AWKWARD VERBAL INQUIRY: “I’m an ESTJ.” I....
ME: (Interrupting) “Wow!!– Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking and Judging – You must be a Lawyer. No? A CEO? A Dentist?? A president with the initials LBJ or GWB? John D. Rockefeller? No. Okay....Bette Davis - That's my final answer... (A long awkward pause)...I'm sensing we're not really clicking. ......I'm sorry; did I step on your E?" Nearing exhaustion from so much extroversion, I wonder, "When can I go home and write?”
For more on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator visit:
http://www.myersbriggs.org/