Have you ever wondered why people blog? Who cares about their unresolved conflict with hormone disregulating plastics, five inch heels and babies being delivered by Disney characters. Sometimes I wonder too.
In the last few months, while busy launching a new project, I put my blog aside. Normally, I love it. I'm not like those movie stars who tell Terry Gross they've never seen themselves on screen. I've gone back and read my posts, sometimes for inspiration and sometimes to find the courage to say something I'm afraid to say.
Only once (aside from all of those times when I found all those mistakes), was I embarrassed about blogging. In the midst of a lovely group of women, one made an eye rolling comment about mother's who blog. She didn't know, I did this... a lot.... and I didn't step up to defend blogging, which in that moment sounded too much like "flogging." Instead, I sat there until someone asked, "Courtney, how's your blog?"
A year and a half later, I still find myself at odds. Part of me likes to believe my words fly higher than "blog" ever could and that they belong in a lofty literary journal whose editor decided they're good enough to publish for his nine readers. But I've never read a literary journal.
I have read blogs. Leo and Seth's (Leo Babauta and Seth Godin) words have enhanced my life. The other day, in fact, Seth reminded me why I think, over think, write, chop, think, "Can I really say that?" and then nervously click "Publish." He said to me (and a gazillion others via this Youtube video):
"It doesn't matter if anyone reads it. What matters is the humility that comes from writing it. What matters is the metacognition of thinking about what you are going to say. How do you explain yourself to your few employees, or your cat, or whoever is going to look at it. ... How do you respond out loud? ....Basically you are doing it for yourself, to force yourself to become part of the conversation (however small)."
Blogging, more than anything has forced me to put myself out there over and over again, made me more comfortable with my mistakes, looking foolish, saying the wrong thing and has moved me beyond my fear of criticism.
If you've ever considered blogging, joining a conversation or speaking up...about anything, ....do it and keep doing it. Don't wait to be asked what you think. Don't wait for permission to express yourself. Send your words flying....You never know where they will take you.