May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
and until we meet again,....
(This Slide show can be viewed in high definition.)
May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, and rains fall soft upon your fields. and until we meet again,.... I've always loved this old Irish blessing. Those words must strike a cord with the 50% of my DNA that comes from Ireland. Or maybe it's the way the lines so easily describe the emotional sustenance our natural world provides. After experiencing Ireland last year with my husband and daughter, these words took on a new meaning - one that I've tried to capture in the slide show below. (This Slide show can be viewed in high definition.) Written and photographed by Courtney Snyder
By Courtney Snyder
ME: My hair is turning gray. It actually has been for 12 years, but the number of white strands is reaching a critical mass that allows me to state with certainty, 'My hair is turning gray.' For a time, I had highlights. I could get them again to detract from my emerging gray. I did love those golden streaks, but who knows, …I might just love silver steaks. THE ZOOLOGIST: The graying of your hair indicates to prospective males: “Red alert - This female is not at the peak of reproductive fitness. Depositing your sperm here could be a waste of time and may not yield offspring." ME: I’m okay with that… I really am…Even when I was single and full of eggs; I never was one to scream out, “Look at me, all you sperm bearing males…. Peak of reproductive fitness here… Let’s start growing this population!” THE SCIENTIST: We're working around the clock on surgeries, chemicals and contraptions to help women counter the effects of aging. To date, applying color to the hair is the easiest and most effective weapon women have against this devastating process. ME: $$##%%&&!!!!! I thought I was nearing the end of the Vanity Wars. You're telling me -they’re just beginning? THE TV FASHION EXPERT: There’s no denying it. Gray hair isn’t sexy. Ask yourself, how many women with gray hair are sex symbols? ME: You really should meet my friend - the zoologist. But wait, ….you’re not talking about reproduction; you’re talking about sex, something nature intended to be enjoyed well beyond our reproductive years. I’m pretty sure I’m okay with not being a symbol of sex. Couldn't we put that energy into other things …like having really great sex with the person we love? THE CONVINCING WOMAN: All you have to do is color your hair; it really will make you look younger. You’ll feel better about yourself. Really you will. ME: Really? I feel pretty good. In fact, I’ve been especially happy with myself since I disconnected the box in my living room - the one that kept telling I should look more like Pamela Anderson. I kind of thought I’d just keep on liking myself; maybe even like myself more, regardless of my hair. MASS CULTURE IN THE FORM OF A RADIO TALK SHOW HOST: That broad's really lett'n herself go. Have you seen that old bag lately? ME: Wow. Do you know how angry you are? Why does gray hair enrage you? Maybe signs of aging heighten your unconscious fears about your own mortality? Oh, but wait – it’s women with gray hair that enrage you, not men. Maybe it’s easier to hate those you perceive as inferior and not following the rules. The alternative is admitting your own suppression by a patriarchal society that forces both men and women to conform to stereotypes. How's that working out for you? A WOMEN SENATOR (All of the 17 women senators are without gray hair): To be successful you have to look good and in this day and age that means looking young. We have to play the game. It’s not right, but the alternative is not playing and we need women in leadership. ME: So you’re telling me, to lead you have to follow, even if what you’re following doesn’t make sense to you. But wait ….what about the 7 (of the 75) women in Congress who show gray hair. How in this country did they become leaders? Maybe they’re playing a different game. THE ANGRY WOMAN WITH GRAY HAIR: If you want to pay good money to sit for hours with toxic chemicals that have been poured on your head - go for it. While you’re sitting there, why don’t you just tell them to inject toxins into your face, insert water balloons in your chest and bind your feet. ME: All compelling, but really …..you scare me. There’s a radio talk show host I think you should meet. A CONFIDENT WOMAN WITHOUT GRAY HAIR: I dye my hair to keep my job. I need to feed my children and myself. It's that simple. ME: #$*@%^&*$#!!!! Sexism PLUS ageism!!! Then we really are enslaved in a patriarchal society that devalues women, especially women with gray hair. A CONFIDENT WOMAN WITH GRAY HAIR: I never thought of coloring my hair, it just wasn’t for me. ME: I wish there were more of you. If you weren’t so gray, I’d tell you to go forth and multiply. ANOTHER CONFIDENT WOMAN WITHOUT GRAY HAIR: For me it's easy. I dye my hair because I like this color hair on me. I think of it as I do my makeup, jewelry and clothes. I'm creative and expressive. I'm happy. Color, don't color - do whatever makes you happy. ME: Thanks. That really makes sense to me. ANOTHER CONFIDENT WOMAN WITH GRAY HAIR: She’s absolutely right. Do what works for you. Only you know that. And what works for you today may not work for you tomorrow. For me, each white strand of hair represents wisdom I’ve gained. The young have many things to offer the world, but wisdom isn’t one of them. I love my hair. Just as we don’t need a society telling us we should all look young, sexy and ready to procreate at a given moment, we also don’t need a society telling us we should all have gray hair, swear off all adornments and howl at the moon. ME: That makes sense too. You both make sense. Two people, so seeming different and yet you completely agree. Written by Courtney Snyder
Last week I saw a clip from the Jimmy Kimmel Show in which he asked parents to post videos to Youtube of children’s reaction after they (the parents) tell them they've eaten all their Halloween candy. From an overwhelming number of videos posted, Kimmel shared a few. Why were those parents so up for a task in which they inflict emotional pain on their children, video tape it and share it with the world? Who was so insensitive to them when they were children? “It was just a joke,” “Where’s your sense of humor,” “You’re no fun,” is how some might respond. Those children likely hear these things (if not worse) when they express their feelings. The message sent and received, “your feelings don’t matter.” When children hear this enough, they eventually turn away from their feelings and themselves. They'll likely teach the same to their children. This sick kind of “Pay It Forward” gets compounded by our broader culture of hierarchies. The result of adults blindly following ranges from unfulfilled lives to utter destruction as is only starting to be uncovered at Penn State. Such devastation requires more than a sick predator or predators and more than authority figures who value image (theirs and their institutions) over morality; it requires "normal" adults who listen to authority before they listen to themselves. Considering the number of people who've turned away from their better judgment throughout history, it's easy to believe the world hasn't just gone mad, but has long been mad. I have to believe there's a greater kind of Pay It Forward, where by listening to ourselves we show our children and those around us that they can and should as well. Until about a year ago when my daughter would say she didn’t like someone, I’d be quick to defend that person (even if I agreed with my daughter). “He or she was just being (whatever)," "They are just that way...", or "They didn't mean to..." I said this out of fear that she might become disrespectful to adults - to authority. Unknowingly, I was shutting her down. As she (and I) have grown, I’ve learned that her perception (like most children) about people is usually spot on and that she won’t be disrespectful to others - her father and I aren’t, even when we don't like someone. I've learned that one of the most important things I can do as her mother is to listen to her – to her voice - the voice that will be her inner voice as she moves into adulthood. If my life were to end tomorrow, I'd hope I've done everything I could to teach my daughter to follow her heart - something I write about often. But a happy and useful life isn't simply about following what brings you joy, it's about avoiding what brings you misery. So to my writings, I have to add: If you feel someone is creepy, they probably are. If you feel someone is mean, they probably are. If you feel someone is overly friendly, they probably are. If you feel someone makes everything about them, they probably do. If you feel that something is wrong, it probably is. If you feel someone has hurt your feelings, they have. If you want them in your life, tell them how you feel. A true friend and loved one wants to know. The responses "you are so sensitive," "you're overreacting' or "I was just joking," are not acceptable. If you feel someone is finding humor at your expense, they probably are. Beware of people who enjoy practical jokes and hurtful sarcasm. If you feel someone's feelings take up so much room that there's no room for anyone else's, then they probably are. Do not make excuses for other's behavior. Beware of people and institutions that idolize and follow blindly. Beware of people who care more about their image or their institution than they do about people. If you find yourself in a relationship with someone who hurts your feelings and doesn't want to understand your hurt, do not tolerate it. It will be up to them to self reflect, seek therapy or do whatever they have to. If you want to help them, know that the most helpful thing you can do is to not allow them to hurt you. If they do not change and they may not, you must move on. Life is short. There is an abundance of kind and loving people in the world. You won't find them if you are wasting your life with those who don't know how to love or care. The quality and value of your life will be determined not only by who you choose to spend time with, but by who you choose not to spend time with. Listen to your feelings and you will choose well. By Courtney Snyder
One highlight of a recent trip to South Carolina was standing beneath this most amazing tree. Having survived hurricanes, floods and earthquakes, Angel Oak is the oldest living tree east of the Mississippi. It is believed to be 1500 years old. As I turn 44 this week, I'm inspired by this tree's age, strength and its ability to extend itself so far out into the world. Written by Courtney Snyder
Recently someone at a party asked me if I was still involved in activism against marketing to children. I haven't been, at least not directly. Five years left me burnt out. Last year, I concluded ...."I'm a lover, not a fighter." I chose to take a Gandiesque approach of starting with myself and focused my energy on minimizing the intrusion of marketing in my own family's life. Though pretty content with this, that question the other night left me wondering if it's possible to be a lover - and a fighter. Out of this pondering came the following: CRADLE TO GRAVE - a very short one act play SETTING: a conference room of a marketing department in a large company - a very large company…. okay, let’s just call it a fictitious mega conglomerate. CHARACTERS: BOB - Marketing Executive SAM - Team Member MARY - Team Member BOB: "We need to stay passionate about getting our brand in front of consumers as early as possible. When those neurons start connecting, we want to be there. With our hospital contracts, we have new parents taking home bags of free diapers, formula and wipes all adorned with Percy Pig, Benny Boar and Franky Fox. We know Mom and Dad will hold these up to their baby and say "Looooook, it'ssssssss Percyyyyyy Pigggggg!"– just as we’ve planned. But I’m concerned, we're not maximizing the endless opportunities to connect. I want to send sales representatives into the maternity ward to bond with moms. These warm and fuzzily trained reps will help build trust. While they're there, they can get a picture of baby with Benny Boar for the family to put on the mantel.” SAM: We’re already doing that. BOB: "Okay, Sam - for the next meeting, make a list of the maternity ward offensive strategies we already employ. Sounds like short of climbing into the uterus, we’re doing a pretty good job. Yet, I know if we put our heads together, there's more uncharted territory. Children should be living and breathing our brand – our characters. Their bedrooms, meals, school, toys, television, movies, computer games all should reflect our brand. There's no limit to immersive marketing. Surely we could be immersing American children in even more of this stuff. Take Halloween for example. YES, I know most children are wearing costumes of our characters, but have we made any attempts to exploit ….the pumpkin. Nothing about the pumpkin reflects our brand… I mean nothing and that’s pathetic! Why haven’t we sold the rights to put Stinky the Skunk’s tail on those plastic pumpkins that children carry around to collect candy????" MARY: We have. BOB: "Oh, …..but here’s what I’m getting at. Look at all those extremist groups who are using cartoon characters to teach young children to fear and hate the US. How brilliant is that? Think how much power we could harness if we were thinking propaganda...I mean if we were thinking more broadly. Today's hearts and minds are tomorrow's TV news viewers and tomorrow's voters. Who knows - if we play our cards right, we might even be able to get someone in the oval office who'll be lax on all those pesky regulations. Why aren't we at least thinking about all the profit to be made by getting children to beg their parents to buy "food" that isn’t even food." SAM: "Again sir - we’re already doing that. We’ve worked tirelessly with our child psychologists. We've applied the Nag Factor Research to develop strategies to get kids to annoy their parents into submission. By the looks of things – a child obesity epidemic that’s going global and a financial crisis fueled by greed and hyper consumption - I'd say we’re doing a pretty awesome job. BOB: That's it! We need to expand our demographic. Since deregulation of marketing to children in the late 70’s, we're finally at the point where those earliest saturated kiddos are well into adulthood. Think of all those we’ve successfully brainwashed,… I mean helped form emotional attachments to our characters - our brand. Are we involved in weddings, .... anniversaries? Do we even have anniversary cards? MARY: They’re on the shelves. BOB: And these adults will be aging! We need to get ahead of the curve. What about condolence cards? It's not too early to start thinking about contracts with mortuaries, cemeteries and coffin manufacturing? Who wouldn’t want to know their loved one will be accompanied to the other side by that character they first saw immediately after birth - the one who was there at every stage of their life. SAM: Now you’re talk'n. (To learn more about strategies used by child marketers,....whoops...I mean, "those who market to children"...Google (as much as you can stomach) such phrases as "Maternity Marketing," 'The Nag Factor," "Immersive Marketing," "Cradle to Grave Brand Loyalty," and "Age Compression") |
I am an artist, psychiatrist and mother.
I live in Louisville, Kentucky with my husband and daughter. Categories
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